Some Truth Comes To Light


This weekend an awkward and somewhat painful conversation took place. My husband said he missed having sex with me. Then he asked me if I missed it; not wanting to be an evil bitch, I said yes & no. When he asked why, I gave him several examples of hurtful things that he’s done or said in the last few months. He said that I was taking what he said about my oldest daughter’s situation the wrong way, but he said it so clearly even my deaf grandparents would’ve gotten it.
In someways, I’ve been very fortunate over the last month; due to the surgery I had at the beginning of May, I’ve had to sleep on the futon in the living room. When you aren’t sleeping in the same room, or your bruises look like you took on a tsunami and lost it is easy to avoid any sort of sexual contact. In all honesty, our sex life took a hit in April when he was continuously too busy; also, not acknowledging when your spouse is saying good-bye and then blaming your dyslexia is a good way to insure many masturbation filled nights in your future.
My sexuality has always been something hard for me to deal with, so having my husband walk in while I was masturbating was pretty horrifying. It wasn’t even like he walked in and found me with my hands in the honey pot, I had a “body massager” involved. I immediately jumped up & tried to do the crack head toss, you know when they there the drugs and try and play dumb. He asked me where I got it from & I said it was a MOTHER’S Day present. I really didn’t expect the next question; Who got that for you?
Hello Dumb ass, you got me an Amazon gift card…you can buy anything on Amazon, including some awesome sex toys ;)! Which brings me back to our conversation this weekend. He asked me who I was in a relationship with because it didn’t feel like I was in one with him. Did I tell him what I really wanted to say: Remember when you told me that you wouldn’t even have time to listen to how my day was for the next year? I believe you said that it was the sacrifice I was going to have to make for the next year. GUESS YOU FOUND OUT WHAT YOU’LL BE SACRIFICING. No, I wasn’t a bitch and did not want to be deliberately hurtful. I also didn’t say,” Did you already forget about the bountiful sex toys I purchased for Mother’s Day with the gift card you got me?”
I simply said no one.



    • We have discussed my needs several times, which in someways has made it worse. When we were doing sexual things he tries to act like he’s my Dom, I can’t submit to him…even if I go w/it to get things over in my heart I am not truly submitting to him.
      Btw Sadey, I didn’t realize I’d signed up for the Hot Summer Erotica Blog Hop until I got an email yesterday. I wanted to ask you if it’s okay if I offer one of your books as my prize; I know author’s are offering their own work, so I wanted to make sure it was okay before I did it.


  1. You express well the situation many women today find themselves in; wanting to find a strong willed partner (male or female). It is difficult sometimes for people to accept that want and yet not sacrifice the understanding and tender partners as well. Few, in my experience, can easily reconcile the two extremes without getting too deeply in one extreme that the other fades away.

    Respect and direct communication can only go so far in relationships in which one or both partners also enjoy the occasional humiliation and shame as foreplay or even, one might say, “courtship”. Switching gears with gentle pressure of letting in or out the “clutch”. Sometimes we can even hear that grinding sound, can’t we?

    I am sure you will find your balance eventually.


Give it to me

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s