Last night, I received an email from my uncle informing me that my grandmother had a massive stroke. She is in ICU and at the time they weren’t sure if they were going to remove her breathing tube. The news in itself was bad, but it brought back some not so great memories.
I know my mom doesn’t check her email on a regular basis, so I knew I had to call her & tell her that her mom was dying. It felt like a Deja vu moment to me; my dad died in September, which I discovered in a bad way. Don’t get me wrong, I love technology. But, I think that finding out that someone you love is dying/died via technology SUCKS ASS!!!
When my father died, I found out through a Facebook post. Yep, I said a Facebook post. A friend of mine is a firefighter/EMT, he heard the call go out about my dad while he was on another run. He & I have a relationship where we tease each other mercilessly; I actually posted a YouTube parody for a KKK dating site on his wall once, and recently when I had an allergic reaction to medicine he posted a picture from the Nutty Professor.
So, it was reasonable for me to think that his post: I know things were strained, I hope you have some good memories….was a joke. After all, I had just posted a check-in that said I was in bed playing with my new iPad2. I wrote back, thanks smartass….then I thought about his post & his job, then I wrote:is my dad dead? He sent me an inbox MSG to call him.
Sometimes, I feel like I experience emotions to deeply or maybe I let them eat away at me. A Dom I know will tell me from time-to-time, that I need to remember not to create drama when things don’t go the way I would like for them to go. Apparently, it’s a common thing for people who grew up in an abusive environment.
I sent this Dom a message last night telling him, I know I’m not supposed to have drama but I have to say this little thing. When I told him what was going on, he told me that wasn’t drama. He was there for me to lean on, at the time I found out, throughout the night & even throughout the day. This type of interaction is still new to me; I’m not used to someone getting on to me for the way I behaved, but still being supportive & caring towards me.
W/we generally communicate through computer and phone. So last night when I wanted to curse technology for always making me the bearer of bad news, I had to remind myself that my interaction with this Dom occurs through technology.
- In the Spirit of Mourning (josoftblog.wordpress.com)
- Tears Stream (jarrydboyd.wordpress.com)
- It’s Ok to Mourn (dianasymons.com)
- Peace (boomiebol.wordpress.com)