Darkest Hour 

The past week has been one of the most difficult in my life, and that’s saying a lot since I’ve been a quadriplegic at one time. I’ve had depression since I was sexually assaulted at 13, but this week was different. This week, I just couldn’t find the inner strength to fight like I always had. 

Yesterday, was the first day this week that I didn’t think about ending my life. I guess you could say that it was the perfect storm. The prescription for my anti-depressant has been incorrect for the past few months. I hadn’t been able to get to my doctor and have only been receiving half of the pills I needed for the month. Normally, I’m able to deal with it, but this month I required a steroid treatment for Multiple Sclerosis.

Let’s just say, when they talk about roid rage they aren’t lying. My mood was in a state of constant fluctuation between severely/dangerously depressed to pissed off and back the eff off. The worse part was that even though I saw it happening, I couldn’t stop it. 

I’m writing this because we don’t talk about depression or chemical imbalances. There’s still an incredible stigma against people who have these conditions. A person shouldn’t have to worry about what people will say, if they get the help that they need. Thankfully, I was blessed to have a group of people who truly care about me, in my life. My neighbors wouldn’t let me shut myself off from the world, and even got my antidepressant when I couldn’t afford it. 

If you’re feeling suicidal, call someone…don’t let embarrassment keep you from getting the help that you need!

  

Advertisements

One comment

Give it to me

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s